~🌸~ Embracing Transformation~🌸~

Kind of Woman…

(sigh) Taking action gets way more done than wishful thinking. It became a habit of talking about what I wanted to do or what I wanted to change. Honestly, the hard part about having goals is making them your reality! Fear comes in many forms. If you don’t dare to have the courage to stand up, get your mind right, and keep moving, then you fall victim to idleness! Let me say this; I am just a regular human speaking from my own experiences. Building a relationship with Jesus has helped me practice self-examination. It gave me the strength to change anything and everything that keeps me from entering into the Kingdom of Heaven! It starts with how we think!

I graduated in 2014; traveling through life since then has been exciting and exhausting LOL! I understand that we all go through different phases of being in our twenties. I’m not going to get into all of those things haha. I will say that as you get older, make sure it isn’t in vain! Personally, I disagree with becoming a year older and having spent the year squandering my life. There’s value in wisdom. I’m not a fan of being stuck in old ways. The kind of woman I almost became wasn’t pleasant. Ive spent my days hating my appearance, entertaining gossip and foolishness, full of bitterness and wrath, etc! Those were my early twenties though let me tell ya, the Lord stepped in at the right time. Talk about feeling as though you have everything under control, only to find what appears normal in this society is CORRUPT! I saw how much of a product I was becoming of my environment, how uneducated I was and how deep I was in darkness. Jesus revealed all my sins to me and provided answers to start improving myself (the holy bible). The choice was mine; do I want to remain a idiom or become a virtuous woman?

You already know I chose virtue! Proverbs 31: 10-31 kjv talks about the standards of a virtuous woman! QUALITY!!!! Imagine seeing yourself in a much healthier light than you’re used to. Instead of the usual life style of comparing and having low self-esteem. Feeling like I have to be what the world wants me to be. Jesus knows all, sees all, is the creator of all and in knowing that, I also know who I can trust. My life is secure in the mighty and loving hands of Jesus Christ, and when he speaks, he’s speaking life! His words spake life into the woman I desire to be. The whole time I had the free will to chose, and it makes me proud to be who I am. I look at myself and see a woman who loves herself enough to do what ever it takes to live in peace! There’s comfort in doing what I gotta do for myself instead of setting myself up to be disappointed in someone else for not doing something that I can only do you feel me?

I understand the importance in remaining steadfast! There’s much to fight for. I can’t allow myself to be destroyed by the fiery darts of Satan. His goals for us are to feel defeated and give up. I’m not saying that I won’t allow myself to feel sadness or anger. I’ve learned to be honest with my self about how I feel. to avoid lying to myself. I don’t have to shut off my emotions and pretend I’m fine when I know I’m not. I don’t have to hide pain and walk around faking a smile when, in reality, i’m not okay. I allow myself to feel because I am human. When I keep from crying or being angry, it creates hell inside. There’s too much hell around us to be sitting around here granting chaos the permission to make a home out of my mind! Praise the Lord for prayer because it’s quick and easy to access! (1 Thessalonians 5: 17) Usually, when we feel sadness or anger, it gets the best of us, but like the Lord says in Ephesians 4:26-28 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down on your wrath: neither give place to the devil.

Finding the niche within my personality has been rewarding due to the fact that I am confident in the woman I am and want to continue to be. Along the way I have experienced growth in numerous of areas. This journey so far has been full of bloom! So much that my role in being a wife and a mother can benefit from the woman I chose to be! My husband and I got married young and started our family fast. The art of motherhood and wedlock was difficult to figure out. Each category has its challenges, but the Lord knew how to guide me through it all. I had to learn to be happy on my own so I wouldn’t get in the habit putting that responsibility on others. Down the line of us being married, my husband joined the military. IT WOKE ME UP FOR REAL!! It wasn’t until after he joined when the major changes in my life began (everything I mentioned above teehee). That was also when I realized I was codependent. Codependency is an unhealthy dependence on relationships. It comes with doing anything to hold on to a relationship and to avoid feeling abandoned. I also had an unhealthy need of recognition and approval. God gave me a new pair of lenses to see through for sure.

I don’t have as much mom guilt as I used to. There’s no such thing as a perfect mother, and I’m good with that because I know I’m far from it. Days go by, and there’s always the possibility of the unexpected you know? I’ve learned to enjoy motherhood regarldless of the trials I face because if anything woeful happens to our kids (God forbid) I don’t want to live with regrets. That’s just me though! The world grows worse every second, and I know it’s the Lord who gives me with life every morning I open my eyes. When I see the children, I thank the Lord for the life he blesses them with. They have a strong momma praise Jesus! I ensure to pay close attention to the changes in my life because it trains me for their life-altering events! We all learn and grow differently, so I gots to stay alert and ready to take action whenever there’s a need for divine intervention and super mom! Here comes the emotions lol…. I thank God for my husband. We are solely responsible for the paths we choose and the decisions we make in our lives. The make it or break it moments are imperative events in our lives, in my opinion. As my mindset changes, I focus on the vital things in life. My goals as a wife became the ones Jesus would be happy with, and how that led into me being a wife my husband would be proud to be with. Pride is deadly and gets in the way of those sincere feelings. When there is a disagreement, I truley want to get to the bottom of it so we can move on. In times of misunderstanding I genuienly desire to clear things up so that it reveals itself that nothing was said to hurt one another intentioanlly. You know, things we go through that we usually allow to carry on and on because of stubbornness.

All of that to say, I now see him in the same light as myself. An individual, always learning and using any opportunity to make the nesccesary changes along the way. There is always room for improvements, and again actions speak louder. Wanna read something beautiful? Lamentations 3: 22-23 kjv “It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, Because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: Great is thy faithfulness.”‭‭ One thing that kept me from moving forward was always holding on to the things of the past. Yo the damage that did was more than words can describe. I read that verse and knew what I had to do. Every morning is a new opportunity to start fresh and handle the issues of the present. Thank you so much for reading my blog! It means so much to me, and I hope it was edifying! Grace and peace! 🩷

-Sincerely A God-fearing Woman